


we were kings

by loneliestfox



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Competition, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 11:01:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18248513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loneliestfox/pseuds/loneliestfox
Summary: “Are you scared?” Donghyuck asks, nodding at the book on his lap. Mark smiles lazily. His hair looks soft. He wishes he could run his fingers through it.“Yeah,” comes Mark’s short reply.





	we were kings

**Author's Note:**

> here's ur super niche school representation lmao. i dont rly know if anyone is familiar with choral speaking but??? it's basically choir but instead of singing, we speak! ik in the uk it's a competition for primary school kids but bArE wiTh mE it's a nationwide thing here all throughout primary up to secondary/high school! and we take it! seriously!!!!!!! (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و
> 
>   
> p/s everyone mentioned in here are from missionary schools aka schools that r previously or still under church authority + the school mark/dh/jen/rj/jaem attend is an all-boys school!

_23 June 2013_  
The moment Donghyuck sees St. Vincent on stage, he knows they’re gonna win. Donghyuck scratches the back of his neck as he watches them intently, observing their every movement. St. Vincent has always had a penchant for the dramatics. He sees Renjun Huang — the guy from his maths class at his after school academy — smack dab in the middle of the second row. The way his eyebrows rise and fall, knitted together in confusion, the frown on his face; it was all perfect. Donghyuck wrings his hands and looks down at them, listening to the booming voices of the boys and girls from St. Vincent.

Minutes pass and he hears applause. It’s rather rude, Donghyuck thinks, and a little pathetic of him but he doesn’t clap. Jeno and Jaemin next to him clap. He watches the St. VIncent kids smile widely as they bow and the conductor gestures them to leave the stage. And maybe, maybe it was because it was so loud and he was so focused that he doesn’t hear sniffles and soft sobs. He frowns and glances to the side of the hall and sees Mark Lee.

Donghyuck doesn’t mean to stare but...he does. He knows Mark Lee. They’re not friends per se but they met last year when Mark’s church and his organised a small camp during the school break. Donghyuck has always known Mark as untouchable. They were never in the same team, never in the same dorm, and never in the same group of friends. But he knows Mark Lee. Who doesn’t anyway? Mark Lee, award-winning conductor and best student in his form, crying isn’t an everyday thing for him. It is odd to see him crying outside the hall with their instructor frowning at him, one hand on his shoulder.

“Hey,” Donghyuck says, turning around in his seat to face Jaemin. “What’s wrong with Mark Lee?”

Jaemin looks up at him then and cocks his head to the side.

“Mark Lee?” He asks and Jeno, sitting next to him, nudges his sides. Jaemin turns to look outside the hall and sees it, too. He gapes.

“Ah, poor guy,” Jaemin says, then turns to look back at Donghyuck. “Didn’t you notice earlier? He forgot Yukhei’s line and forgot to cue him,” he says, hushed, because right that moment, Mark Lee walks back inside the hall, Mr Seo in tow. Mr Seo gives him one last pat at the back before he takes a seat next to their accompanying teacher. Donghyuck locks eyes with Mark before quickly looking away.

They were red.

“He’s probably beating himself up,” Jeno adds, nodding. “But — to be honest? I didn’t even notice.”

Donghyuck tches. “It’s because you’re too busy ogling that Renjun guy from St. Vincent,” he teases, earning a thwack on his arm.

“I can’t even see anything when I’m on stage!”

The audience then erupts in cheers and applause and the three of them follow suit as Convent of St Mary comes on stage. After three more performances, it was time for the panel to decide the state winners.

St. Vincent places first, like always. Mark Lee, like always, too, wins Best Conductor of 2013.

 

 

 _7 July 2013_  
Even by placing second in State, Mr Seo still insisted on buying them lunch. They walk to the mall after school with Yukhei screaming every once in a while when they have to cross the street. Donghyuck walks behind Jeno, hands clutched tight on the straps of his backpack.

“Where do you think sir will buy us lunch?” Jaemin asks, patting his backpack that he had very conveniently slung to the front instead. The pedestrian light above Jaemin’s head turns green and a countdown begins. _15, 14, 13…_

“Dunno,” Jeno answers, walking across the zebra crossing. “Probably pizza.”

And Jeno’s right. Half of the restaurant is occupied by the St. Paul’s choral speaking team and it’s difficult to get everyone to be quiet and settle down. Such is the nature of choral speakers — loud, boisterous, always excited. After lots of debate and 10 minutes of heated discussion on pineapple on pizza, Mr Seo finally orders six large pizza (three of them had pineapples as their toppings, much to Donghyuck’s dismay.)

Mark arrives 30 minutes later and the only seat that was empty was next to Donghyuck, so he sits there. He sits there and _shit_. Donghyuck straightens his back then, nervous. Ever since he saw Mark crying, he never knew how to approach him. It’s like trying to dance around eggshells. Do they talk about the competition? Or?

“Hey, Mark,” Jaemin calls, cutting off Donghyuck’s thoughts. He stares at Jaemin, the way his eyes glint. Jaemin is sitting across Mark and he leans closer, phone showing the search bar on Facebook. Mark looks up, humming as an answer. “Can I be friends with you on Facebook?”

Jaemin says it so simply. Donghyuck swallows in nervousness. Mark Lee is untouchable. Untouchable.

Mark's grin is small. As if he was shy. “Sure,” he says, taking out his own phone and unlocks it. Jaemin furiously types into the search bar and, Donghyuck assuming, sends a Friend Request. A second later, Mark’s phone dings and he hears a papery click.

And then it was Jeno’s turn to send one, grinning dumbly and excitedly as Mark accepts his friend request. Donghyuck stares down at his plate, focusing on the smeared tomato sauce in the middle of it. His phone died. He can’t just ask Mark Lee to send one to him, surely.

Mark turns to him then and Donghyuck blinks dumbly, staring at the rectangle metal box in his hand. That’s his _phone_.

“Donghyuck,” Mark says and oh. He decides then he really likes the way it rolls off of Mark’s tongue. “I just realised we aren’t friends on Facebook yet,” he confesses, smiling. “We’ve met at camp, right?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck replies, mouth dry.

Donghyuck types up his own name on Facebook and presses Add Friend.

“Here,” he says and passes it back to Mark. The thank you Mark gives comes soft, barely a whisper. Stupidly, it makes Donghyuck’s heart flutter.

`Mark Lee **[Confirm]** [Delete Request]`

`You are now friends with Mark Lee.`

 

 

 _2 August 2013_  
**Jeno Lee ▶ Mark Lee**  
August 2, 2013 at 3.34 PM  
MARK LEEEEEEE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR BEST CONDUCTOR  
here's two photos i found while u were conducting ~passionately~ lol

[2 Attachments]

 

 **Donghyuck Lee ▶ Mark Lee**  
August 2, 2013 at 2.53 PM  
happy birthday to our one and only conductor p/s sorry for pics from youth camp but i show no mercy

[5 Attachments]

 

“Mark, won't kill us right?” Donghyuck asks, scrolling through Mark's profile. It's been over an hour and Mark has yet to reply to any of his birthday posts — not only his and Jeno’s. Yerim Kim posted a photo of him as a baby on his timeline and a senior named Taeyong Lee posted a photo of him when he joined a dance competition when he was in secondary one. Jeno shrugs, liking the photo Taeyong Lee posted of Mark.

“I posted an even uglier photo of him,” Jeno says, putting his phone face down and rips open a new pack of skittles. They have another hour of physics and skittles was their only saviour. He pops one in his mouth and offers Donghyuck some. “He can't kill us because it's a sin. It’s, like, against Christianity or something.”

It's two hours later when Jeno and Donghyuck are coming down the stairs from their academy does he hear a familiar _ding!_ Jeno peeks at Donghyuck's phone and sees: Mark Lee replied to your post. He clicks it open, heart in his throat.

 **Jaemin Na** : DONGHYUCK U HAVE 0 FEAR LOL  
**→ Donghyuck Lee** : **Jaemin Na** ^______^  
**Mark Lee** : when did you take this shiiiiiiiit haha but thanks donghyuck! see you this dec during camp!!

“See,” Jeno says, smug grin on his face. “He's a nice Christian boy."

 

 

 _17 November 2013_  
“So,” his mum begins and Donghyuck groans. He looks out the window of his car, turning his whole body so it faces the window. His mother laughs, patting his knee. “Hey,” she calls.

”Mum, it’s the _second_ day of break,” he says forlornly, trying his best to sound as sad and pathetic as possible. He hopes it comes out pitiful. “Can I please? Not attend church camp?”

They stop at the traffic light and it’s silent. Suffocating a little. He turns to look at his mum’s profile, scared. But his mum isn’t frowning or angry — she simply smiles, staring off into the road in front of them.

”Okay,” his mum finally says and the light turns green. The car moves forward. “You know that boy, Mark Lee—”

Donghyuck scrunches up his face as he stares at her side. “God, mum, why don’t you just adopt the kid,” he says, half teasing and half serious, and his mum laughs. She reaches out and pinches his cheeks. Donghyuck yelps.

“But Mark doesn’t have what my baby has,” she says.

“And what is that?” He’s genuinely intrigued, actually. What does he have that Mark doesn’t?

“You’re charming, you know that? My handsome boy is so nice and smart, even if you don’t think so.”

Donghyuck blushes bright red and pushes his mum’s hand away.

“Ugh,” he grumbles, crosses his arms and looks out into the road. They turn a corner and a motorcycle behind their car zooms off first. “You’re just saying that.”

“Why would I lie?” She asks, eyebrow raised.

“Dunno,” he replies. He sees his old primary school building come into vision and he smiles bitterly. “Parents do that, right? To make their kids feel special.”

His mum hums. “Maybe,” she says and pats Donghyuck’s knee. “But not me.”

 

 

 _18 February 2014_  
“Be honest,” Jaemin says, tugging his backpack off his shoulders and let it hit the ground with a thud. “Do you think you’ll be able to win this year?”

“Touch wood,” Jeno gasps and thwacks Jaemin’s arm. Jaemin yelps, glaring Jeno as he rubs his arm.

“You quit the team and join drama and suddenly you’re acting all cocky, huh,” Donghyuck points out, brows furrowed. After the 2014 auditions for choral speaking were announced last month, Jaemin had decided that he was tired of standing two hours a day, three times a week just parroting words off a script. Then he joined drama. The irony. “Even if we don’t win, we’ll still get our certs.”

Jaemin stares, one eyebrow raised. “Are you doing all this for certs?” He asks, shoving his hand in his pockets to get his handkerchief. It’s hot as fuck and Donghyuck notices it, too. Sweat trickles down his spine as Jaemin dabs away the sweat on his forehead with his handkerchief.

“No,” Donghyuck quickly says. He doesn’t like Jaemin’s tone. “I’ve been in choral speaking all my life. This is second nature for me, the certs are just a plus.”

“Sure,” Jaemin replies, a hint of doubt in that tone. For a second there, he hates Jaemin. As if being in drama was so much more noble.

”Drop it, Jaemin,” Donghyuck hisses. He doesn’t like what Jaemin’s implying and Jeno notices, tugging Jaemin away.

There’s an ice cream truck parked next to their secondary school. Jeno drags Jaemin to the truck, leaving Donghyuck alone to watch cars and buses drive by, parents picking their children up.

“Donghyuck!” He hears suddenly and when he looks to his side, he sees Mark waving at him. “Hey! You here alone?”

The wind suddenly picks up and Donghyuck has to squint his eyes to look at Mark in the face, avoiding the fine dust entering his eyes. He answers, “No. Jeno and Jaemin’s at the ice cream truck.”

Mark nods, then, and stands next to Donghyuck, hugging his books. He stares at the profile of Mark’s face — the slip of his nose, the fullness of his cheeks. He gathers himself when he realises and clears his throat, dropping his gaze to his backpack. It looks heavy. No wonder he can’t shove the rest of his books into his bag.

“Did you just finish extra class?” Donghyuck asks, peeking at the cover of the books he’s hugging. They weren’t school textbooks. They were reference books. Mark nods. He continues, “Is secondary three as hard as they say?” _Is it hard even though you’re the best kid in your form? Is it hard balancing all your extracurriculars, all while being a top student?_

Mark laughs openly and it’s the first time he does so, at least Donghyuck thinks. This isn’t the same laugh he gives when Mr Seo cracks a stupid joke during practice. This one is a bit sad. Maybe everyone’s a little sad.

“Everything is hard, anyway, not necessarily secondary three,” he answers, looking down at the books in his arms. “Study hard, okay? Don’t...get your mind muddled too much by choral speaking. It’s important but school is more important, you know?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck says. “Yeah, okay.”

 

 

 _11 June 2014_  
They place third this year, even worse than last year and Donghyuck can’t help but be disappointed a little, even when the school photographer tells them to smile! The camera clicks away and when they’re ushered off stage for the first runner-ups, Mark pats his back.

Mark’s holding two trophies: 1) State Second Runner-Up and 2) State Best Conductor.

And this time Mark doesn’t cry. So it’s good. It’s all good.

His smile is brighter, bigger than last year’s even when they placed better last year.

“Don’t be so sad,” Mark says. “We did our best!” Donghyuck laughs, tugging Jeno along with him, who has his arm linked with his. Whines, “What do we do, Mark? Will I ever hold the state champion trophy?”

Jeno tells Donghyuck he can if he asks Renjun nicely. He laughs then and so does Mark. It's nice.

 

 

 _9 January 2015_  
Secondary three isn’t as hard as they make it seem. Their workload is a lot despite it being the third day since school started but Donghyuck exhales through his nose and tells himself it's going to be okay.

Donghyuck’s yawning, listening to their woodwork teacher explaining that even if woodwork isn’t important, it is compulsory for them to at least get a B. He puts his palm under his chin and nods along. In the front row, Hyunjin’s already fast asleep.

“I’ll never get a B,” Donghyuck whispers to Jeno. His teacher is still talking, going on and on about the importance of woodwork. Jeno smiles as he flips through the textbook when the teacher says to go to page 48. Donghyuck doesn’t even bother “I’ve never even gotten higher than a C.”

“I wonder how Mark got straight As last year,” Jeno mutters, more to himself rather. He stops at the page and underlines a line of text with his trusty yellow highlighter. Jeno’s actually listening to their teacher. This is why he can manage to get an A- at his worst.

“Easy,” Donghyuck says, shrugging. “He’s a genius.”

Next period is lunch break and their teacher is still going on and on about types of wood and Ways To Sandpaper Your Woodwork Safely. Jaemin, standing outside their classroom, parrots their teacher and they both chuckle into their fist.

“I really hate my new class,” Jaemin confesses as he crams a seaweed cracker into his mouth. Jeno peels the cover of his Tupperware open and dances happily in his seat after realising that his mother had packed him dumplings. Jaemin rips another packet of crackers and sighs. “My Geo teacher doesn’t even let me use black pen in class, unless absolutely necessary,” he grumbles. He hands the packet to Donghyuck. “Want one?” Donghyuck shakes his head, no. Jaemin continues, “Do you know how much I hate the colour blue? Because I do. I hate it. Now everytime I go through the damned notebook I have to cringe.”

“Our Geo teacher doesn’t even, like, come to class,” Donghyuck points out, taking a bite of his canteen bought egg sandwich. “Be grateful.”

When the bell rings 10 minutes later, they get stuck with clean up duty because they were late for class. Jaemin laughs, rather loudly, when he sees Mark in a familiar blue blazer with his tie tucked inside it. Mark’s cheeks turn red and Donghyuck laughs, too.

”Mark Lee, you greedy bastard,” Jaemin chides. “Is being debate captain and choral conductor not enough?”

Donghyuck stares. It’s unfair how Mark actually looks good in the stupid nerdy prefect uniform. He doesn’t remember Taeyong Lee looking this handsome.

“Shut up, Jaemin,” Mark says, all bark no bite and smiles. Donghyuck tears his gaze away. Mark hands them plastic gloves and one pail. “Now go ahead and clean up, you three.”

They groan and Mark walks away.

 

 **Donghyuck Lee**  
hellooooo  
mark ><  
my mum wants to know where did u go for after school classes last yr?  
im failing my science lol

 **Mark Lee**  
oh hi!!!  
i go to miss kwon’s for science lol  
wait i’ll share her contact

 **Donghyuck Lee**  
thx!  
also heard u got into the science stream!  
congrats!! nwn

 **Mark Lee**  
thanks donghyuck!!

 

 

 _12 March 2015_  
“This Mark Lee kid,” Donghyuck’s mum asks as soon as he enters the car. He rolls his eyes. Not this again. “He’s your senior, right? By a year?”

“Yeah,” he says, tucking his feet underneath the passenger seat. He looks outside, past his school garden where the statue of Jesus Christ with a lamb around his shoulders stands proudly in the middle of the garden. The statue is a little dirty but it still stands there, in all its glory. He turns to look at his mum. “Why?”

“I heard from the aunties at church that he got into the first class for the science stream,” she replies and of course, of course. Donghyuck presses his lips into a thin line. Right. Of course.

This is what he hates; how his parents are trying to shape him into someone he isn’t. They’re trying his best to turn him into the golden boy that Mark Lee is and he’s afraid he’s never going to turn into him.

He’s afraid that he’ll only end up disappointing, which he is sure he will.

He doesn’t reply, picking on the loose thread of his trousers on his knee.

“You have to get into the science classes next year, Hyuckie,” she says, voice laced with worry. “You have to do well or else.”

 _Or else_ hangs heavily in the car, almost suffocating Donghyuck. He nods obediently and looks back out.

”You know I love you, right?”

There’s a dull ache in his heart, rendering him speechless. Suddenly he remembers his lungs are real and inflating and deflating like plastic balloons. He feels his heartbeat in his ears. He curls and uncurls his fists. He doesn’t know.

_He doesn’t know._

”Yeah,” he says finally, too long to be an afterthought but it was better than to leave it hanging. “I know.”

 

 

 _7 April 2015_  
Donghyuck gets back his mid year results and his parents are happier than he is. He gets all As and a B+ for his Science and smiles.

 **Donghyuck Lee**  
i got a B+!! for my science!!  
thanks ><

 **Mark Lee**  
haha i did nothing!  
but congrats <3

Donghyuck stares at the <3 Mark sent for an awfully long time. Finally, he looks up and asks, “What does it mean when someone sends you a heart?”

Jaemin looks up from his revision book, mechanical pencil twirling in between his fingers.

”A red heart or a pink heart? Or a black?” He asks back and bites on the end of his mechanical pencil.

”It’s the.” Donghyuck struggles to find his words suddenly. Mark Lee is still online. “You know? The less than symbol then the number three?”

Jaemin seems to ponder for a while. It’s disgusting the way Jaemin’s biting so simply on his Pilot mechanical pencil. He gives it one last bite before he takes it out of his mouth.

”Gay,” he says finally and Donghyuck chokes. “That’s real gay.”

 

 

 _18 June 2015_  
“We’ll win for sure this year,” Jeno tells him. He has his fingers linked with Donghyuck’s and he’s gripping hard. He’s nervous, everyone can tell. Heck, everyone is. Mark’s on his feet as the panel’s announcing fourth and fifth place.

He hears Convent of St Mary announced fourth and Donghyuck feels a weight lifted off his shoulders.

“If we don’t,” Donghyuck says, not wanting to set himself up for disappointment all over again. “We can still work hard for it again next year, right?”

When their school name wasn’t announced for second runner-up, Jeno squeezes Donghyuck’s hand harder. They close their eyes and then—

“Two is better than one anyway,” Mark announces when they’re all back in the bus, heading back to school. Donghyuck decides, staring down at his trophy, that maybe next year they will win. He smiles.

Mark takes a seat across Donghyuck, the aisle separating them. He's shoving one earbud in his ear when Mark turns to him, patting his shoulder.

“Hey,” he calls, smiling. It’s comforting. “You all right?”

Jeno’s dozing off next to him, head bumping against the window every once in a while when the bus goes through another hard bump.

He smiles, nodding. “I’m okay.”

 

 

 _4 January 2016_  
Donghyuck and Jaemin gets sorted into the same class this year and he high fives Jaemin when they’re seated next to each other in the hall. Jeno requests for the sub-science class and waves at Donghyuck when they part ways; Jeno’s class towards the school hall whereas Donghyuck’s and Jaemin’s was near the labs. It’s sad. This will be the first time in three years that Donghyuck and Jeno aren’t classmates.

They stumble into Mark right outside the hall when all the student stream out to go to their respective classes. Mark’s in his last year of secondary school this year and he looks taken aback when he sees Donghyuck and Jaemin. Donghyuck is, too, admittedly at how handsome Mark has gotten over break.

“Wow, you guys grew,” he says. “What class are you guys in?”

“Science,” they both answer in unison. Mark laughs and pats Donghyuck’s shoulder.

“Don’t die,” he says, wiping his cheeks that were void of tears. “It’s a toughie though; secondary four. But you guys can do it! Three sciences; imagine all those lab reports you guys have to write up,” he says, smiling wickedly.

Jaemin and Donghyuck’s smiles falter.

“I heard that that Renjun guy transferred here,” Jaemin says, nudging Donghyuck as they make their way up the stairs to their new class. Donghyuck widens his eyes in disbelief. What would a St. Vincent kid do here?

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Jaemin says, nodding as he slides the door open to their classroom. Their class is much, much smaller than their classes in lower secondary. They only have 27 students per class instead of the usual 40. “Heard it’s because his parents think this school does academically better.”

They both laugh at that. Then, Renjun walks in.

“Fuck,” Donghyuck says into his palm. “What if he joins choral speaking, too? I’m fucked then. I’ll never get a taste of the solo lifestyle.”

“Hey, now,” Jaemin calls and Renjun moves around the classroom, smiling sheepishly at everyone who looks his way. Donghyuck waves at Renjun. “You will get a solo line this year. I know this. I can feel it in my balls.”

Renjun makes his way towards them and asks, in a very small voice, “Can I seat next to you?”

It’s a wonder how he’s always won Best Soloist.

 

 

 _27 February 2016_  
Donghyuck does get a solo line this time around, thanks to Jaemin’s omniscient balls. Even if it’s just him going, “Mankind’s greed will destroy us all!”

When Mark’s done cueing Donghyuck’s solo line, Renjun nudges Donghyuck’s sides with his elbow. Donghyuck stifles in his laughter and keeps in character until Mr Seo gives them a water break, pulling Mark away from them to discuss even further about the script.

“What the hell was that for?” Donghyuck hisses at Renjun as he grabs his water bottle from his bag. Renjun laughs as he chugs down his own water. He never expected Renjun to be apart of his small little squad of friends. Jeno and Renjun were already friends before they met anyway, so it was perfect. It was like meeting an old friend.

Renjun’s smile at him is teasing. He can’t help but turn red.

“You like Mark, right?”

Donghyuck sputters and holds his palm over his mouth. He swallows his water quickly and stares incredulously at Renjun.

“What the hell?” He says and turns to look at Mark. His blazer is long discarded to the side and even though it was way past school hours, he still has his tie up to his collar and his sleeves were folded to his elbows. Jeno has long loosened his prefect tie. He gives Renjun one good look. “No way.”

Renjun gives him a once-over. “Uh-huh,” he says. “What do you take me for? An idiot? I see the way he looks at you,” he says. Then, “Also the way _you_ look at him.”

“Donghyuck!” Mark calls and Donghyuck, face red, looks at him. He didn’t even get the chance to ask Renjun, _the way he looks at me? Elaborate?_

“Y-Yeah?” He replies, stuttering and Renjun laughs, turning around, so that his back was facing Mark.

“Can you pass me my water bottle? Just roll it to me.”

“Oh, okay,” he says and plucks his water bottle out from the side of Mark’s backpack. He rolls it over to Mark like it was a bowling ball. When it hits Mark’s feet, he shoots Donghyuck a smile. A smile so blinding that Donghyuck grimaces a little.

“Thanks!”

Donghyuck turns back to look at Renjun, who has his hand shaped into a gun.

“Bang,” Renjun says, shooting it right over Donghyuck’s heart.

Shit.

 **Donghyuck Lee**  
wtffff i think i have a cr*sh  
:(((

 **Renjun Huang**  
just die bb

 **Jaemin Na**  
pls tell me it’s mark lee and not stupid boy from  
ur after school academy  
like i love u but honey no

 **Donghyuck Lee**  
**@Jaemin Na** ew no i’ll never crush on a st v’s kid  
GAG

 **Jeno Lee**  
LOL **@Renjun Huang**

 **Renjun Huang**  
草泥马

 

 

 _9 April 2016_  
Donghyuck doesn’t know how Mark hasn’t dropped dead from fatigue alone. On top of being a senior, the prefectorial board’s secretary, the choral speaking team’s conductor _and_ the debate team captain, he still gets his shit done and is standing proudly on the stage as he receives an award. He smiles at the camera and Donghyuck leans into Renjun’s sides, sighing.

“He’s so cute,” Donghyuck says, pouting. Mark walks off the stage and smiles, bowing at the teachers that he meets along the way and fist bumps Yukhei, who was standing behind the stage. “Renjun,” he whines, squeezing Renjun’s arm. “He’s so cuuuute.”

“I can’t do anything about this, Donghyuck,” he sighs. “Just tell him.”

Donghyuck scoffs. Says, “Never.”

Next, Jaemin walks up and loudly, Jeno, Renjun and him cheer and holler for him. Jaemin looks embarrassed and a prefect walks up to them and tell them, very nicely, to shut up.

Later in the evening during choral practice, everyone crowds Mark to congratulate him. He bets the half of them doesn’t even know what he was awarded for. Who even pays attention during assembly anyway?

Donghyuck raises a fist at Mark and he bumps it.

“Congratulations for being the World’s Biggest Nerd!” Donghyuck says and Mark fake gasps, choosing to poke Donghyuck’s sides instead. He shrieks and runs away but it was futile, because Mark chases him and he’s much, much faster.

Their school team had won second place at the National Science Competition that a local university held last month. Jaemin was one of the contestants, proudly being the only secondary four amongst the team. He had also very helpfully provided candids of Mark during the competition, brows furrowed together in concentration. Cute.

 

 

 _27 June 2016_  
“I think we’ll win forreal this time,” Jeno says and Donghyuck feels a sense of deja vu staring into Jeno’s face as he says it. Jeno pats Renjun’s shoulder and says, with utmost confidence, “it’s because we have Renjun.”

Mark snickers behind them even if he has earphones shoved into his ears. Donghyuck frowns and pulls one out.

“Hey, don’t eavesdrop,” Donghyuck says. “Fake. Not even listening to anything.”

Mark laughs. “I was until I heard your theory about who’ll win,” he says, leaning forward. “How come Dunham isn’t considered in your Top Three?”

Jeno turns around to face Mark, too. The panel starts to announce the bottom three.

“Well it’s because they’re co-ed.” Mark stares. “What?”

“St. Vincent is literally a co-ed school and they’re always state champion,” Mark says flatly and Renjun cheers.

“But they’re a missionary school, bro,” Jeno points out, like this was an obvious fact that only missionary school kids deserve the top three. “Don’t you see? The Top Three is always in between us, St. Vincent and St. Mary. What do we all three have in common?” They all stare at Jeno. “We’re all missionary school kids. Poor but we have the power of God by our side!”

“You’re not even a Christian,” Mark deadpans.

Again, a sense of deja vu washes over Donghyuck when St. Mary is announced second runner-up. He watches Yerim Kim in her yellow blazer and matching plaid skirt go on stage and receive the trophy. When she looks into the crowd, Mark waves at her.

“Go Yerim!” He cheers and Donghyuck feels a bit. Weird. Bitter, almost. He knows they go to the same church. It’s stupid. He sighs. _He’s_ stupid.

When they’re about to announce champion, Mark reaches for Donghyuck’s hand with his right (it’s warm and it’s real, real nice) and with his left, he squeezes Yukhei’s knee. He closes his eyes the moment he sees the emcee open the envelope and smile. Donghyuck squeezes Mark’s hand. Then —

“Oh my God,” Jeno says. “We’re going to Nationals.”

 

 

 _13 August 2016_  
Nationals is a two hour bus ride from their school and the excitement dies out just thirty minutes in. Jisung and Chenle are sleeping against each other, both sharing earphones and Donghyuck’s too excited to even close his eyes. He has been vibrating in his seat the second the bus took off. When he turns around to look at everyone else, he finds them all asleep. Jeno, next to him, is on his phone playing games and Mark is slowly dozing off next to an already asleep Yukhei, a compact biology book in his hand. He nudges Mark with his foot.

“Are you scared?” Donghyuck asks, nodding at the book on his lap. Mark smiles lazily. His hair looks soft. He wishes he could run his fingers through it.

“Yeah,” comes Mark’s short reply. “Everyone’s expectation on me is too much sometimes but I try my best.”

Here’s something that always goes over Donghyuck’s head: Mark is just a teenage boy, despite everything. He seems so perfect, so golden. Untouchable. Sometimes Donghyuck’s always filled with a sense of jealousy, envy and the crushing feeling of inadequacy. Mark and him — they’re just the same. Donghyuck reaches for Mark’s hand and squeezes it.

Years of being pit against Mark Lee the golden boy dies out just like that.

“You’ll do well for your mocks,” Donghyuck says, hoping the smile he offers somewhat brings comfort to Mark’s gusty, blustery heart. “I know this. I can feel it in my balls.”

Mark laughs then and squeezes Donghyuck’s hand back.

“Thank you,” he says softly and tucks his book in between his seat and Yukhei’s. “Thank you, Donghyuck.”

 

 

 _14 August 2016_  
Before their competition the next day, the organiser has arranged small talks for the participants about speech, drama, and choir. The choir pamphlet in Donghyuck’s hand feels a little heavy.

“You sing?” Mark asks, glancing at the pamphlet in Donghyuck’s hand.

They’re both making their way into a lecture hall where there will be a talk about pursuing their future in the university Nationals is held at. It’s scary and Donghyuck’s a little thankful he has a whole year left. Mark, however, only has a few more months. Renjun turns around, smiling at Mark before tugging the both of them towards a row of seats.

“Yeah, I do,” he says, pulling a seat down and sits on it. “I mean, I like to think I do.”

“That’s so cool! I play the guitar. Maybe one day we can…” Mark trails, his smile turning shy.

“Sing together?”

“Yeah,” Mark says, grinning. In his hand is another small black book of secondary four and five chemistry. On the cover are various types of test tubes and flasks. Donghyuck looks away.

Dinner at their dining hall is hot. It’s sweaty teenagers packed into a small space and Donghyuck sucks loudly on his empty juice box when not even the food has arrived. He stands up.

“I’m going for a walk,” he announces. Mark stands up, too.

“I’ll come?” He asks and Donghyuck stares then shrugs, pushing his chair out and walks around the table and out of the hall. He doesn’t wait for Mark.

Outside at least it is a bit cooler. He sees the maintenance workers carrying industrial fans inside and heaves a sigh. He looks back.

“Why’d you come?” Donghyuck asks Mark, who was walking three steps behind Donghyuck, hands shoved into the pockets of his shorts.

“You don’t want me to?” He asks back and Donghyuck rolls his eyes.

“I said no such thing,” he huffs out and looks back in front. “Don’t you have to study or something?”

“What?”

“Your mocks,” Donghyuck says flatly. There is no wind. He hears the chirps of the crickets. “We’re at Nationals and you’re studying...I feel…”

“Stressed?” Mark offers. It’s true. He’s failing biology and further maths and every time Mark Lee is mentioned, his mum will never stop comparing him and Mark. Mark Lee, perfect boy from hard work alone. Of course, it’s because he always has a damn book with him. It’s because he tries his best and Donghyuck—

“I’m sorry,” Donghyuck says instead, shaking his thoughts off. _It’s because he doesn’t try_. “I was projecting. I know how much mocks mean to you; a senior. I’m being stupid.”

Mark jogs up a bit to walk next to Donghyuck and brushes his hand against Donghyuck.

“You’re not being stupid,” he says. “I know how secondary four is like — the stress and stuff, yeah? Everything is new. I’m not perfect either. I scored a 43 on my first further maths paper in secondary four.”

Donghyuck gapes. “Really?” He asks, shocked. “Sorry — I didn’t mean to sound so —”

Mark laughs, shaking his head. “You know what’s your problem, Donghyuck?” He asks and Donghyuck’s stupid, okay? Is it a rhetorical question? He doesn’t know. So instead he stares. “You don’t know how smart you are.”

Donghyuck feels his cheeks warming up. He opens his mouth and closes and god, he looks — he looks _stupid_ because. Because that’s what he is—

Stupid.

“I’m really,” he starts. “I’m really not, Mark. I don’t even try.”

“Be kinder,” Mark says, smiling. His heart skips a beat or more, he doesn’t know. “Be kinder to yourself.”

Donghyuck smiles back. “How are you so sure?” He asks, taking a step closer to Mark. “How are you so sure I’ll do well?”

Mark finally (finally!) grabs onto Donghyuck’s hand and laces their fingers together. Smiling, he says, “I know you can do it, Donghyuck. Because a wise man once told me; I know this. I can feel it in my _balls_.”

Donghyuck shoves Mark off him, laughing and Mark’s laughing, too. They’ve walked far off from the dining hall, so it doesn’t worry him when Mark tugs him closer first, palms on his cheek and kisses him stupid.

They pull away when Mark’s phone vibrates. He’s panting when he pulls it out of his pocket and sees a notification from Renjun Huang that reads `DINNER’S READY BITCHESSSSS` / `dont elope yet we need a conductor and a soloist <3`.

 

 

 _15 August 2016_  
They don't win any placing at Nationals, which is fine to Donghyuck, because now at least their certificate has Nationals on it instead of the usual State.

Mr Seo and Miss Bae are still immensely proud. They announce that their bus will arrive at 3PM sharp, so they're free to do anything before that. Mark tugs on Donghyuck's wrist as soon as the award ceremony ends.

“Let's go take pics!” Mark says and Donghyuck nods, follows their team going out the hall.

The university where the competition is held at is huge. It's almost unnecessarily huge that Donghyuck ponders if he even wants to go here after secondary school.

Mark helps take photos of the secondary four students first: Soobin, Jinyoung, Jeno, Renjun, and Donghyuck. They do multiple poses all while Yukhei screams, “No formal photos! No formal photos!” Renjun tugs Donghyuck and Jeno away from the rest of the group and demands a photo of just the three of them. They even do one where they leave a space in between Jeno and Donghyuck. Later in the bus back to school, Donghyuck will post it, tag Jaemin in the empty spot and caption it: complete pic of st. paul's best squad <3.

And then Donghyuck shyly presses his phone into Renjun's palm, tugging Mark along with him. Renjun laughs and holds his phone up, camera facing them. He mouths _finally_ at Donghyuck. They stand with their shoulders pressed against each other and Yukhei boos.

“Mark, be a man!” Yukhei says and Jeno thwacks his arm, screaming back a, “They're both men!”

“Hold my hand,” Mark whispers and Donghyuck laughs, cheeks warm. They do hold their hands, holding up the certificates they just won and smile. Renjun clicks away, smiling, too.

“Send it to me later?” Mark asks, hovering over Donghyuck as he scrolls through the photos. Out of the 57 pictures, Donghyuck's only satisfied with 10.

“All or only the ones I look good in?”

Mark raises an eyebrow at him. Says, “You look good in every shot.”

 

 

 _18 August 2016_  
**Donghyuck Lee**  
we gotta...talk  
about us  
heh

 **Mark Lee**  
wait let me call u

It only takes one ring for Donghyuck to pick up.

“Hi,” he says. “Mark.”

“Donghyuck,” comes the reply. A rustle of sheets. It's late. Then, “let's talk.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

Silence.

“Shit, this is awkward as heck,” Mark says, chuckling. “Can I just be frank with you?”

Donghyuck gulps. How does one be frank? Does it include being brutally honest to one another? Because then, to be frank, Donghyuck's scared.

“Sure,” he says instead.

“I really like you,” Mark says and oh, okay. It’s the confidence that makes Donghyuck melt. “Do you want to be my boyfriend, Donghyuck Lee?”

Donghyuck's never answered anything as quick as he just did.

 

You set the nickname for Mark Lee to my baby conductor <3

 **my baby conductor <3**  
why would u do this to me

 **Donghyuck Lee**  
bc i can

my baby conductor <3 set your nickname to my singing angel

 **my singing angel**  
OI

 **my baby conductor <3**  
it’s cute!

 **my singing angel**  
no  
u didnt put a heart  
:(

my baby conductor <3 set your nickname to my singing angel <3

 **my baby conductor <3**  
<3

 **my singing angel <3**  
<3

**Author's Note:**

> 草泥马 literally means...the grass mud horse but it's a word play that means. um. fuck you
> 
> [donghyuck voice] AND CUTTTT


End file.
